Hello Dear Souls!
I hope this message finds you happy, healthy and at peace. I have been urged to write, so I'm writing. I'm not quite sure where this will go, so please have patience as I navigate through my thoughts and feelings. PS. Don't you want to be sitting on that bench?! Bet it smells amazing!
First off, what a year 2020 was, huh?! Have you had a chance to reflect on what the year was for you? I haven't really dedicated an allotment of time to reflect, however, it's come to me over time as if it's a thriller/drama and I only get bits and pieces at a time until the end when "BAM" it hits me - OH that's the ending?! However, as we know the ending is only just the beginning. As we grow/heal, it makes room for more growth and healing which well, frankly, sucketh ass but if we want to grow then we must face the challenges that are presented. Sometimes they are small, sometimes they seem large but all important nonetheless. I have learned in the beginning of my journey to say to my angels/guides "ease up on the lessons, yo!" (yes, that's yo and not you) but now I don't say it anymore. I want the lessons to present themselves at the speed and complexity that the Universe deems fit; it/he/she knows that I am more than equipped to handle it.
I constantly hear people complaining about 2020 and what a shit year it was. I call bullshit on this. Yes, it was MAJORLY challenging, filled with sadness, grief and heart crushing stories, however, if you scale back and look from a bigger picture, it's been a blessing. It's changed the way we think and has asked us (to those who listen) to look at our beliefs and question ourselves as to whether we still follow these beliefs. I feel as if 2020 was a year that forced everyone to grow whether we realize it or not and we will be better off as a whole for it.
What I've learned from this past year (in no order of importance except for the first) is that I missed my little girls so much. Driving 2.5 hours a day to and from work took away time from the kids. Working from home and having both kids at home, while nutty and frustrating at times, was something that I've longed for for a LONG time and it was just as wonderful as I had imagined. Mind you, I am writing this as the house is still and quiet, no sound :) I've also learned that I needed to focus on me; my health and habits needed to be adjusted to get my mind, body and spirit clearer. I realized there were some people that I missed dearly and there were some that I didn't, and that's OK. I realized that I need to work on my confidence and self esteem, something that hasn't been as present as I would like it to be - I'm sure that will always be a work in progress. I realized that I need not overexplain myself to people and if they don't get me or don't want to get me that's OK, I'm not for everybody (this was recent and was seen through text as a meme). I have realized that I'm so blessed with my career, home, family, friends and health. I have learned that feelings need to be expressed as they eventually rise to the surface AND there are better ways to do this. I have realized that it's OK if I need to rest or take an afternoon nap. I also realize that there are a lot of things that I still haven't 'seen' and that there will be other epiphanies when the time has come to appear. I have dearly MISSED meditating, reading, cooking, nature, laughing so hard my sides and face hurt and 'being' so am making those more of a priority now.
I always find it amazing to go through a period of time and without really knowing it, the lessons are absorbed and transformed only to be picked up by the conscious mind. That's my philosophy class coming out there and more on that a little later as it feels as if my thoughts are done, for now. I offer this to you in hopes that you have or will reflect on this past year and that this post may have helpfed or brought some love/peace your way. (OK, now I'm tearing up - so I know what I've said is from the heart)
I wish you much love and health and peace and if you need to talk, I'm here.